When I Dream of You
by EvilQueenDork
Summary: Bittersweet memories for Lily Evans brought on by the return of James Potter who had broken her heart years ago. Since he is back she doesn't know what to do. But one thing is for sure she would never put her heart on the line for him again.


**Chapter 1- Home Again.  
**  
James Harold Potter lay on his back on a blanket in the park. At twenty- five he knew a good few things about women. In this case where he was waiting for one, he reasoned that she would be late in getting there for their lunch date.  
  
It was the last few days of summer and he wanted to enjoy it because soon it would be cold and getting colder. It was not the he didn't like that time of the year, because he did. Its just that it was that time of the year that he had made a really bad decision that cost him a lot more than he expected it to.  
  
Not that he wanted to repeat the experience.  
  
'Hi honey sorry I'm late.' Said a pretty young woman as she came up closer. That there was his girlfriend. He liked her well enough but he was one who didn't particularly favour a long-term relationship.  
  
He had made that clear from the time they met and she agreed wholeheartedly with him and his rules about getting to personal with the other.  
  
It wasn't that he was afraid of commitment; it was just that he wasn't sure of it anymore. How can you know for sure if a long-term relationship was really –you know- long term? He guessed that it was maybe because of his parents or what happened to his parents that had him like this.  
  
But they were happy again.  
  
Just not with each other.  
  
After five years they were happy again, even though it wasn't with each other.  
  
You see James's parents spilt after eighteen years of marriage.  
  
It was when he was in his seventh year in school and it wasn't an ordinary school either. Hogworts schools of witchcraft and wizardry were a school like no other.  
  
It taught magic.  
  
This meant that this normal looking young man was actually a wizard. And a very powerful one at that.  
  
He had graduated from the top of his class, though he tied with two people.  
  
One of them was his best friend and the other was, well special to him.  
  
Or used to be special.  
  
He wasn't a bad Quidditch player, in fact he was great and he wasn't at all modest about that.  
  
Also in fact he could have gone pretty far in the professional, international arena. But after three years of playing after he graduated from Hogworts he decided to be a Quidditch sport critic. After all he did play a lot in those three years.  
  
He had his own column in the Daily Prophet and made commentaries on big games in the area and internationally sometimes.  
  
Anyway back to the business at hand, his love life.  
  
He only had one meaningful relationship in his life and he broke it off, he'd told her before they got together that he didn't want anything permanent but he hadn't actually expected to get so attached to her.  
  
Yeah he had loved her but she never knew that and he didn't want her too. He had rathered that no woman should have that kind of a power over him.  
  
Knowing that he loved him would bring that sort of power to them. That's why he kept things impersonal between he and his _friends.  
_  
After her he had resorted to choosing his women who wanted the same things that he did.  
  
NO commitment but a great sex life.  
  
_She_ had seen him with another woman at a party the September after they graduated while they were still together and it was the beginning of the last.  
  
It was the way he had planned it. Hurting her was the last thing he wanted to do but he knew he could break away if she hated him.  
  
They had broken up a day later.  
  
He had learned a couple months before the incident that his father had slept around a lot and since so many people told him that he was just like his father he figure he may as well go along with the flow.  
  
If he was so much like his father it didn't matter that he loved the girl he was with he would have ended up cheating on her anyway. And that was how she saw him that night and who he was with. It was a girl they'd both met after meeting some of his wizard relatives her name was Nora.  
  
She hadn't really minded saddling up close to him. She knew he had a girlfriend and he knew that since she didn't have any conscience it was the perfect way for Lily to catch him.  
  
He had seen the betrayal on her face but she didn't say anything when he escorted her back home.  
  
Maybe if he had tried to be more different they would still be together but he doubted it and then again he'll never know for sure.  
  
And then there were his parents.  
  
Well he couldn't say much about them.  
  
Each of them had remarried and as far as he knew his father didn't cheat of his new wife of a year.  
  
And his mother had gotten over what his father did a lot faster than he had.  
  
He guessed she suspected for a while but never said anything. And up to this day he didn't know how they reached the conclusion that their marriage was over.  
  
He never asked.  
  
His father was a Healer and his mother had worker part time at Gringotts.  
  
Now his mother's new husband was the head of a newspaper in Scotland called the Prophet Guardian.  
  
She was trying to get him to move there since he moved back to London four months ago.  
  
He'd been living and writing sports in various places.  
  
He went to Egypt, India, Austria and America.  
  
The position he wanted opened in the Daily Prophet and since it was the only paper offering it at the time he took it.  
  
So he moved back to his hometown and only then realised how much he missed it.  
  
He had kept in regular contact with his best mate Sirius Black and their other great friends Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.  
  
They were happy he decided to come back home and took him out the same day that he arrived back which happened to be a Friday.  
  
Now they made it a ritual out of it and go out every Friday night.  
  
'James what did you bring for us to eat?' said his girlfriend Kaci who snapped him out of his reverie.  
  
Kaci Smith was a tall brunette with red highlights that went to the middle of her back. She was smart and flirtatious. She was also athletic, curvy and funny.  
  
What more could he ask for right?  
  
Wrong.  
  
You'll see soon enough.  
  
Kaci worked for the ministry of magic as an auror. She had just gotten the position a couple of days before and they had had a wonderful celebration. He enjoyed her company what could he say.  
  
As they ate Kaci started talking about houses – she lived in a small flat by herself—and mentioned that she was thinking about moving.  
  
'I mean it would be nice to have a house. If I get a roommate it will be all the better for me. Wouldn't you agree?'  
  
James nodded and let her continue to talk.  
  
He like the flowing way in which she talked, her voice smooth and pristine.  
  
'I mean, it would have a permanent feel to it. What do you think James?'  
  
'What did you just say?'  
  
James hopped his voiced didn't sound as strangled and stained as he thought it would sound.  
  
'James I said it would be wonderful if we moved in together. It would have more of a permanent feel to it.'  
  
Did she just say she wants to move into a new house with him?  
  
_**Lily Evans**_ looked on as her parents drove away.  
  
She had never received such a shock in her life.  
  
Her parents had driven a long way from Surrey to where she lived, which was in a nice little cottage just outside or a mile or two form Godric's Hollow, to tell her something important.  
  
You see the shock wasn't the fact that they'd driven all this way but it was the news they delivered that had her reeling.  
  
She watched through her window that overlooked the porch as her parents driven away – in different cars.  
  
They'd come to tell her that they were getting a divorce.  
  
Lily couldn't believe it.  
  
After thirty years of marriage they had called it quits. They were now going to her older sister Petunia's house to tell her the news.  
  
Lily just sat in her big fluffy armchair and hugged her big mug of coffee while she pondered on what just happened.  
  
She didn't have a phone and talked to her parents by just apparating there when she wanted to tell them something.  
  
And in her line of work there was other ways to communicate with people. Suddenly there was a loud sound.  
  
A sound that could only be someone appparating.  
  
Soon there was a knock on her door.  
  
When she answered it she was surprised to see Anna Borucka standing there with a film of tears in her eyes.  
  
'What's wrong?' Lily asked immediately of her best friend of thirteen years.  
  
Anna stopped long enough to look at her weirdly.  
  
Anna had been in the Gryffindore House with her in Hogworts.  
  
She was tanned, five feet-five inches, who had shoulder length brown hair, which was short in the front and longer in the back that matched her brown eyes.  
  
Lily appreciated her because she was funny and sweet, making her laugh when she needed too.  
  
'Lily I just came to see how you were holding up?'  
  
'Holding up?'  
  
'Yes your mum told me that they were going to tell you today.'  
  
'Oh my god you knew?' Lily exclaimed feeling slightly betrayed.  
  
'Yeah, well I guessed it. Your mom was herself these last few days.'  
  
Since Anna was orphaned then went to live with her Grandfather she never really had the influence of a mother in her life.  
  
That was where Lily's mom came in.  
  
She had gotten close with her and Lily's mom felt like a surrogate mother to her. She had practically grown up at Lily's house and the two girls were like sister's more so than Petunia had ever been. They knew each other secrets and mistakes.  
  
That was why since she was getting married she wanted Lily's mom to plan her wedding, which wasn't to hard since she was marrying a muggle.  
  
A muggle, who Lily was glad to know, didn't forbid his soon to be wife from ignoring her magical abilities.  
  
In fact Lily knew him quite well.  
  
He lived not to far away form her house and found him rather fetching when they were kids. He was the older guy and she was young.  
  
He was ten and she was eight.  
  
When Lily got older she laughed it off because it was really funny.  
  
And anyway she met a fellow in school that pushed all thoughts of any other boy the furthest place from her mind.  
  
The wedding though would have to be muggle based and Lily's mom was happy to do it collaborated with the grooms mum who she was friends with.  
  
It was Anna who got her through day after when that same boy broke it off with her and practically ripped her heart out by betraying all the trust she had put in him.  
  
'Your mom slipped up and told me a few days ago. I'm sorry I wanted to tell you but it wasn't my place.'  
  
Lily sighed and knew Anna was right.  
  
'I know and it's okay really.'  
  
'How can it be when it isn't for me? I mean they were the two people that made me believe in happily ever after.'  
  
Lily sighed again. It was the same for her as well and felt disappointed in herself for letting the things get the way they did with that old boyfriend of hers.  
  
'I suppose now we have to cancel that anniversary party.' Said Simone.  
  
Lily nodded. They had really worked hard for that party which would have been thirty days from now since it was December the first.  
  
Her parents were to be married thirty years on New Years Eve.  
  
'I hate to do this to you but you'll have to cancel them all by yourself because I have a few things to take care off.'  
  
'Its ok?' though Lily didn't feel like calling fifty people to cancel and explain to them why they were cancelling.  
  
'Another thing though, I forgot to tell you I invited someone else to the party that you'll have to get in touch with to cancel.'  
  
'Who?'  
  
'Err well you would believe it but I was reading the sports section of the Daily Prophet.'  
  
'Since when do you read the sports section?' Lily interrupted.  
  
'Never mind that but you wouldn't believe who is back in town as well as writing for them and with his very own column too.'  
  
'Who?' Lily questioned but wondered why her friends was telling her all this.  
  
'James Potter!'  
  
'What?' Exclaimed Lily flabbergasted. That was the last person's names she had expected to come out of Anna's mouth.  
  
'You know who I'm talking about. James Potter. You started dating him in seventh year and almost a year later we left hogworts broke up with him.' Anna had the brains to remain silent about the fact that she lost her virginity to him too.  
  
'I know the story I was there remember and you should get your facts straight. He broke it off with me.' And he broke off other things to she added silently.  
  
'Fine.'  
  
'What about him?' Lily asked after a good few seconds had elapsed and her friend didn't say anything. She might as well get this information over with. It wasn't as though she wanted to see him again or have any intentions too.  
  
Last she had heard he was somewhere in Timbuktu writing about Quidditch. Not that she followed his career or anything. She had run into his mother when she took a business trip to Scotland eight months ago.  
  
The woman was nice but she had so hoped that Lily and James were much more serious than that. She had raved about James for an hour when they met incidentally.  
  
'Oh yeah, what was I saying? I know. I met him the other day when I just happened to be outside the daily prophet.' Said Anna waving her hand dismissively.  
  
'You just happened to be at the daily prophet huh?' asked Lily not doubting for second that she went there purposely, just to meet him.  
  
'Yes and we had a really nice chat and I invited him to our parents' anniversary party.' Anna often referred to Lily's parents as her own, not that she minded.  
  
'You did what?'  
  
'Yes I did but I'm afraid I can't be the one to un invite him. You'll just have to do that along with the others.' Said Anna like it was no big deal.  
  
But it was a huge deal.  
  
Her? —Lily? Talking to James Potter? The same bloke who was she was stupid enough to fall in love with and trust with all her heart soul and innocence?  
  
The same bloke she thought she was going to marry?  
  
Anna took out a piece of parchment and gave Lily the words to say to get to James's fireplace.  
  
'There, sorry to leave you to do all the cleaning up.'  
  
'Anna, you don't fool me. I know what you were up too.'  
  
'What?' asked Anna in fake innocence.  
  
'You were playing matchmaker weren't you?' asked Lily.  
  
'Who me? No way.'  
  
'I hope so because you were there when I came home in tears. That Idiot broke my heart.'  
  
'Lily, I know what you went through but that year couldn't have meant nothing to James. I mean I saw the way he looked at you when he thought no one was looking.'  
  
Even after three years it still hurt to think about. She knew James never felt anything for her. He hadn't even cared when she caught him.  
  
'Well apparently it did.' She said stonily not letting Anna see how much it still hurt.  
  
She didn't want it to still hurt and had tried with a couple people but she still couldn't get about from that insecurity that he had caused.  
  
'Sorry again Lily. I got to go all right? Remember to tell James. Bye.' Said Anna and disapperated when she went outside.  
  
Over the next couple of hours Lily regrouped and took a long calming bath while she tried to absorb the shock of her parents divorce and James Potter's return to London.  
  
She wondered what Petunia was thinking at this moment.  
  
They hadn't spoken in years, even when there was a family thing, which she rarely attended.  
  
Would she care?  
  
Now she had to go through the ordeal of telling everybody. Calling was one thing but what about telling James?  
  
She had to talk to him face-to-face, well fireplace-to-fireplace.  
  
She might as well get that over first.  
  
(I know there is no such thing or maybe there is, I have no idea but bear with me. LOL.)  
  
When she activated it, no one was there.  
  
Perfect she had been rehearsing what she was about to say and the recording message thing on the fireplace would do it.  
  
It wouldn't be exactly her.  
  
'This is Lily Evans. Don't bother coming to my parents anniversary party.'  
  
Well she had meant for it to come out like that she thought when she finished.  
  
It sounded like she didn't want him there. Well she did but she didn't want to make it seemed that she still carried a torch for the bloke.  
  
Well she couldn't to anything about it now could she? 


End file.
